Yisro

The question has been asked time and again by any and every Darshan.... "Mah inyan Yisro aitzel har sinai ?"  What does the welcoming of Yisro have to do with Matan Torah?

The answers abound. I will attempt to offer an answer that came to my mind.

Rashi sums up the welcoming of Yisro in a few short words. "Kavod gadol niskabed yisro b'oso sha'ah." A great honor was shown to Yisro at the time. Upon seeing Moshe Rabeinu take leave of his daily responsibilities and very full schedule, Aharon and his sons followed suit to be with Moshe. As the great leaders of klal yisrael passed before all of the encampment, everyone tagged along to join their leaders. During this massive parade Moshe prostrated (his entire body flat on the ground) respectfully to his father in law, kissed him, asked about his wellfare, and then proceeded to serve a grand banquet in Yisro's honor.

A great honor indeed.

Hashem invited Klall Yisrael to matan torah with the statement "You will be for me a royal kingdom of ministers".
Moshe then postponed the day the world was waitng for, so that the Torah would be given in a more respectful manner ie: the women would all be in a state of purity for the giving of the Torah.

I believe that the Torah is introducing itself with a clear message. DON'T TAKE THIS CASUALLY.
There is a value system with priorities that is needed before one approaches Torah. The capacity to recognize individual value and to act accordingly is a prerequisite to living a Torah life. As a matter of fact, the sefer Derech Hashem, by Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzatto, states that the one and only condition needed for Torah to have its spiritual effect upon those who study it is respectfulness. Recognizing the Torah as a valuable source of wisdom and not just another book of history and social guidelines.

The Parshah begins with a show of honor to others, then continues with a revelation of self respect, and finally with the respect of Torah. This should serve as a guide to us all, especially in the American society in which casualness and coarseness has become 'everyday'. The refined awareness of kavod and its importance can be acquired, first by looking at each other with the proper regard and expressing that regard in action. After that, healthy self respect and the proper respect of Torah will follow.

Parshas Vayechi

In Parshas Vayechi, {49, 22} we find a very strange compliment to Yosef, as his father was blessing him. Yaakov Avinu felt it important to mention how unbelievably handsome Yosef HaTzaddik was! As Maran zat"zl asked, "It seems as if Yaakov was praising Yosef with an 'Americanashe zach' ; that the Egyptian girls were all clamoring upon the walls to get a glimpse of Yosef ??!!"

The Rosh Yeshivah zatz"l answered that indeed Yaakov Avinu was expressing an extraordinary trait in Yosef. It should be noted that the following psukim continue to speak about the hatred of the brothers towards Yosef and then Yosef's strength of spirit. The flow of the P'sukim suggests an understanding of human nature which can be very crucial in chinuch.

Every person needs to have an enviroment where he feels valued and appreciated. When a person is scoffed at or looked down upon or just ignored in one enviroment, he will naturally be drawn and attracted to other sources to provide his need for approval. When Yosef HaTzaddik was so 'welcomed' and idolized by the society of Egypt after being ridiculed by his brothers as the 'dreamer', he was presented with a tremendous challenge of huge proportions. It is almost humanly impossible to withstand the powerful draw of being a social icon after years of neglect. This exemplified Yosef's nerves of steel, to stand strong and faithful while being starved of such a basic need of human nature.

Few can withstand this challenge. Let us not allow our children, friends, or colleagues to be tempted by approval and appreciation from inappropriate sources. Let us provide them with their emotional needs in a healthy, warm Torah enviroment so they should never be left thirsty for unhealthy nourishment elsewhere!